Dreams are always a topic that comes up often, especially in my home. My work as well, I’m asked to interpret a dream someone has had and what it could possibly mean. Often I can get the energy of what the dream was saying but sometimes the message is meant to be understood by us and us alone. How do we do that? That is the big question. I always say that the best way to do so is to just trust what you know it was telling you. Far too often we will wake up, brush off the feeling of the dream, and start to attempt to analyze it with some weird human brain stipulations.

Welcome back to the saga of the narcissist and the empath. This time I want to talk about the abuse handed out by both and how we can start to break a very toxic cycle. Narcissistic abuse is talked about often. Abuse from an empath? Not so much. I might not be popular by the end of this but that’s ok. Understanding that there is no right side, no one personality greater than the other, is very important to me. Let’s be clear, I’d rather be empathic than narcissistic, but who wouldn’t?! I think the whole reason I’m writing this is to help identify some very toxic, yet basic personality traits that seem to run this world. Not so we can judge or label anyone, but so we may look inwards and identify where we can improve and how we can work to break the cycles.

A tale as old as time. Empath finds narcissist, narcissist locks on to empath, empath attempts to rescue and fix narcissist, drama and trauma ensues. Fun times all around. Am I right? It’s a vicious cycle, and one that I don’t see changing anytime soon. Not in it’s entirety anyway. Regardless who you are in this little fairytale, you learn from these dynamics. Maybe you grow and heal or maybe you continue on to the next one until you do. Either way, these relationships are like night and day. Can’t have one without the other, can’t appreciate one without first experiencing the other.

I’m sure this title needs some context, good thing I am going to give you some. This last Friday, the Hubs and I were driving around town and as we drove down this neighborhood street I saw a kitty laying on the side if the road. I instantly said “poor baby” and said a prayer. As we go by I saw this little kitty’s eyes, wide open and staring right at me. I told my husband, “that kitty is alive!” Being the amazing Hubs he is, he just turned around, I didn’t even tell him. I was already calling the animal shelter, if this Kitty could be helped, I was going to get it for her and if not, she wouldn’t die alone. We walked up to a scared kitty, obviously in distress. She couldn’t move anything but her head and eyes and she meowed loudly and fearfully. So we just sat, and pet her. I was afraid to move her because of the obvious trauma, but I couldn’t leave her.

Well this is going to be one of those fun topics. I’ve had this come up so much for me lately. It got me thinking, are we aware of what this looks like? Are we aware of when it’s done to us? Aware of when we do it to others? I’ve written about the weight of our words, but not so much in the context of abuse. Physical abuse is easy to identify, the signs are more telling, less subtle. Emotional abuse is more ninja like, most of the time we don’t realize it’s happening until it’s completely decimated us.

I’ve had this topic come up in my life a few times this last week. In my own journey and in ones of those around me. I’ve said this many times before and I’ll keep saying it until it sinks all the way in. With me, with you. We are not meant to be uncomfortable so that someone else may stay comfortable!

Two weeks ago we headed up the mountain to camp. This is a mountain I’ve been to countless times in my childhood. Growing up in Arizona, this was the place to go for nearby snow during winter and for cooler temps in the summer. This trip was different, I think maybe because I am different.

I have to thank my husband for this blog idea. During conversation he said these words and it just made sense, and I knew I wanted to share it with you. Since he doesn’t write his thoughts out, as profound as they are, I will go ahead and do it, with my own spin of course. So I must start by giving credit where due. Thank you Joey for this little nugget and all the other ones you give me daily, I love you forever.

I just read a news story that triggered this blog. I was going back and forth about what to write and thanks to this article I am writing something I haven’t thought through at all.

Setbacks, those wonderful times in life that just feel like nothing is going the way you want. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year? The times when anything that could go wrong does. Everyone hates those times, another setback, another obstacle. Why can’t anything go right?! Ah, but what if it is?

I’ve written before about grief, I knew I would write about it again. I wasn’t sure why I would, I definitely didn’t expect this would be why. Today I am going to talk about anger and her grief bff, guilt. They go hand in hand during grief, not in a cute little romantic relationship goals kind of way, more like a Grady twins shining kind of way. They will suck you in forever if you let them. I recently had another run in with grief, one I am still dealing with today.

I think often of my truth, how do I live it, speak it, and never ever hide it again. I wonder how the best way to share it is. I grew up surrounded by people that loved shoving their “truth” right down your throat. I never wanted to be that, not for myself, not for anyone else. I know I have messages to be shared, love to be given, and a perfectly imperfect life to be living, yet I struggled so much with what that looked like. I stuffed so much for so long, I feared once I opened the gates I would just word vomit everything over everyone. No one wants that, ever. So how do I live my truth in a way that makes my foundation firm but also allows me to share my light with others. Lighthouse, that’s how.

Well, it’s been about a week since my big jump. Do I have any regrets? Not a one. I’ve experienced a few things already in this week and my newly learned lessons in boundaries, trust, and discernment have already been tested. I expected that though, so nothing crazy. I have also learned that not everyone understands this journey, they don’t understand the move we made. This is the time when one might start to doubt themselves, their choices, and their journey. Not me, not this time!

Home. There are so many viewpoints of home. Where it is, what it looks like, what it’s filled with. I have always had a bit of a different viewpoint on home. A bit of a Gypsy if you will. My roots never seem to be in the ground, not in the same way as others anyway. My home is my family, my husband and my kids. My extended family and my friends are very important to me, but they are not my home.

I almost didn’t write a blog this week, I have a lot going on. A LOT, soon I hope to share more. Yesterday came and went in a blur, a blur that didn’t include a blog. I had resigned that this week would pass without one, I knew you would understand. Tonight while watching Iron Man for the 3000th time, my blog hit me. Fricking Tony Stark saving the day once again.