Thanksgiving

Can I Just start by saying that I can’t believe Thanksgiving just passed?! Where did the year go? How are we here already? This year has been so amazing, I have so so much to be thankful for. This time last year I was in California, well scratch that, I lived in California. This time last year I was in Arizona, visiting family. Thanksgiving was always about family, for as long as I can remember. This year the same, yet completely different.
There are so many blessings I’m grateful for this year, health is a huge one. I am just recovering from Covid. I made it almost two years avoiding the dreaded Rona and bam it hit me right before Thanksgiving. It ran through the family like wildfire. Much like wildfire there was no rhyme or reason as to who got it and how bad. In my family I think I got the worst case, week one was horrific and I’m still working on getting my breath back. Taste and smell went away, that’s a weird experience, I had enough of it back by Thanksgiving and for that I’m grateful! However this Thanksgiving looked a little different. We decided against the big family dinner, everyone was still finishing up their quarantine. So I baked a whole turkey dinner in the comfort of my pajamas. Let me tell you, if you aren’t eating turkey and pie in pajama pants, you are doing it wrong.
I spent the day curled up on the couch, not feeling so great but feeling so incredibly grateful. I looked over at my husband and kids and knew I wouldn’t want to spend a day in pajamas eating pie with anyone else. For two weeks we had all been dealing with the effects of Covid and yet we all just came together. We didn’t fight or complain or bicker. We did what we needed for each other and we rested. How can I not be grateful?!

The days after Thanksgiving were a little hectic. Yet, another reason why I am so incredibly grateful. My in laws had to move. The owner of their home decided to sell and that gave them 30 days to get out of dodge. My mother in law also had Covid and my father in law is fighting stage 4 cancer. Having to move from their home was not ideal and definitely not planned. I watched as my husband and his siblings and the grandkids all came together and got it done. No one was fighting, no one was being petty, and no one was being lazy. We laughed, and joked, and moved. We moved a lot of shit. 70 years of life means you accumulate a lot of things. Finding little nuggets was the best part. Pictures of my husband as a child, pictures of my in laws at my age. Old knickknacks, very cool things, and absolutely unnecessary things. We found it all, and we moved it all. It took us two days but we did it. I wish I could say I didn’t get annoyed once but that would be a lie. I’m only human, however I had a good time and it made me grateful for the family I have. When it comes down to it, when the rubber hits the road, they all have our back and us theirs.
Family hasn’t always been easy for us. My husband and I both come with our own traumas from our childhood. Navigating through that has been difficult and something we have consciously been doing these last few years. Choosing to see my trauma and work through it has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Yet I find that the more I do so, the more grateful my heart becomes. Acknowledgment leads to acceptance, acceptance leads to forgiveness, and forgiveness leads to freedom. Freedom is happiness. Freedom is gratefulness. My relationship with family looks different depending on who we are talking about. Dealing with family trauma meant I had to learn boundaries. Boundaries are difficult to create, even harder to enforce, and those that abused your lack of boundaries never like when you enact them. Those growing pains are hard to work through and relationships make it or they don’t, but once the work is done the upkeep gets simpler. The one thing that’s the same, regardless of relationship status, is love. I truly love my whole family, I’m grateful for each and every role they play. Some are my lessons and for some I’m sure I’m their lesson. Some are my support, some are my pain. I can finally see each and every one for who they are and not who I wanted them to be. Some I love from afar and some I’m way too close. I haven’t perfected all the boundaries yet. I’m working on it. Going into the holiday season isn’t easy, I lost my mother right after Christmas 4 years ago. It changed so much for me and I hate to admit, I lost my gratefulness. Especially around Christmas. It was far easier to see what I lost with my mom and resent not having it in others. It got very easy to look at everyone with a bitter heart. It’s another reason I feel so grateful. I’m grateful to be grateful. It feels good to have this feeling back. It didn’t just show up, there was no magic potion. I had to choose it and I had to work for it. I’m still working for it. There are plenty of times when I can feel abused or used. When someone does something that just drives me mad. When I find myself feeling bitter or used I ask myself where the problem is. With them? Or me? See I can’t control how anyone acts but I do get to choose how I act and react to it. For so long I would be angry that someone wouldn’t treat me the way I treated them. Or the way I perceived that I treated them. I would waste so much energy hoping people would treat me the way I wanted to be treated that I never actually took the time to expect that treatment. I mean anyone can hope for anything, action is the difference between wanting and getting.
While I’m not perfect at it, I’m still working out the kinks, but I’m finally getting better and not bitter. So not only have these last few days been eye opening in many ways, they have reminded me of how happy and grateful I am. I love my people, I am grateful for every role they play. The good and the bad. Whether I talk to them daily or not at all. I’m just grateful. I’m grateful for everyone that reads this or any other blog. I’m grateful for everyone that trusts me with their energy, that allows me to bring them messages of love and hope from Spirit and loved ones. I’m grateful that this is how I get to live my passion and grateful it helps me with my purpose. I hope you find your gratefulness this season. Let it be what calms the pain and anger. We all have reasons to be down. We all can be the victim. When you choose gratefulness, you choose to take back your power. You choose not to be anyones victim. I don’t know your story, I don’t know your pain, but I do know that you are not meant to be the victim. Your journey here is set, your lessons predetermined. For every thing that you feel knocks you down, those are the very things setting you up to fly. Faith, trust, and gratefulness. This is how you keep going. I hope you find yours, find it and never lose sight of it. Thank you for reading, I’m grateful you’re here. I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving and I wish you the merriest season!