Starting over
Who likes starting over? I have found that most people have a pretty negative outlook on starting over. Almost as if starting over means failure somehow. I have always been a bit of a Gypsy, some call it restless, others call it indecisive, I just call it free. My home has never been a place. Home is who I’m with, how I feel, and where I am safe. Starting over is fun for me. Its refreshing, and calming. I’m here on this human journey full of mistakes and missteps, and I get the satisfaction of knowing that I am not just one thing. That I am not the sum of my biggest mistakes nor am I the result of my greatest accomplishments. I reside somewhere in between, and in between means starting over. I wonder how refreshing it would be if we all looked at starting over this way? Is there freedom in knowing that if you don’t get it right the first time, or even the first 1000 times, we can learn and start over?
Whether its a new resolution we haven’t quite mastered yet or a job that just doesn’t seem to fit, starting over is essential. Without embracing starting over we trap ourselves in the exact place we are desperate to get out of. How many of you have been in a relationship and its just not working? We tell ourselves “its been 5 years and maybe, just maybe, we will finally be happy” or “ if I leave now I will lose everything I’ve worked for.” Starting over has such a negative connotation that we would rather spend another however many years being miserable than facing going back to zero. What about your job? Waking up everyday, dragging yourself to a place that is slowly crushing your soul, and for what? Money, a false sense of security? Now, I am not saying we don’t need money or a job, what I am saying is that our happiness is worth going after what we want. We get content in the known, in the safe, but we lose so much of ourselves. We forget what it means to just be, to dream. We get lost in the outside opinions and expectations. As if having to tell someone you are single but you’re happy is somehow worse than saying I’m married and you’re absolutely miserable. Maybe its the career and you’ve slaved away for years but you can tell people you have this position, or this salary. Somehow leaving what you hate, especially if it is a “step down” is embarrassing. Why is this? When did our station in life become our worth in life? I’m guessing about the same time it was decided that starting over meant you failed.
I have done many things on my journey that brought me here, writing this blog on my own website. It took me far longer than I’d like to finally be here, but I don’t regret a single minute. I have started over, circled back, and started over again a million times. To me its like rereading a favorite book. I always learn something new, catch a perspective I missed before. It is not time wasted, I still enjoy the book, and when I am done I walk away knowing more than I did the first time. If it doesn’t work, or I am not happy, I start over. Some restarts are huge and life changing, others are small and not even noticeable. Starting over is one of our greatest life gifts. Its our phone a friend or our get out of jail free card. I know I am not perfect, not even kind of close, if I didn’t have the ability to start over I don’t know where I would be. I am constantly evolving and learning, as I do, I change. When I change, I am starting over. Maybe its a small aspect, maybe its a whole lifestyle overhaul, whatever it is I am grateful for it. I feel like we are collectively in a starting over period. Life has turned us upside down lately. It has revealed some pretty amazing parts of our humanity and has seriously pulled out the parts where we seem to lack it all together. Life has given us one huge starting over point.
Starting over isn’t failure. Complete opposite if you ask me. Starting over is you acknowledging something that wasn’t bringing you happiness and choosing to correct it. Is it easy? Not always. Is it worth it? Absolutely! I don’t know where you are in life, but I can almost guarantee that you are either starting over or desperately need to be. Whether its a job, relationship, self improvement, or maybe just time, you are not alone in this. We are all constantly starting over or swiftly on our way there. If you need to start over and you haven’t done so yet, its time to jump! Take the leap and learn to fly on the way down, your happiness is worth more than any fear. I know it can be scary but you were made for this. Your happiness is right in front of you, it’s time to choose it. No matter how dark it seems, or how hard it is, starting over isn’t a failure. I hope you embrace the new changes; cry when it hurts, and scream when its hard, but never doubt why you are exactly where you are. I am proud of you, I see you, and I love what your doing for yourself!